Why am I a Monster?
by Starbubbles
Summary: A search of Seattle for vampire activity yields an unexpected new edition to the Cullen family. Some strong language and possible sexual themes.
1. Complications

**I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters.**

EPOV

Emmett and I were scouting out Seattle. There were getting to be a number of disturbing unsolved murders again and after what happened with Victoria, we didn't want to risk anything. So we were looking, but after four days of nothing, we were about ready to go home. I missed Bella desperately and wanted to be able to hold her in my arms again.

Out of nowhere I heard a voice screaming. Wait not a voice, a mind. It was a man's mind and he was mentally screaming and begging. "Please no, please....I have a wife, two kids, oh God please save me!" I started running because I thought he was being mugged and maybe I could save him, but then it hit me. The other minds, vampires! Emmett and I had found our prey.

Running down a deserted alley, I saw two vampires feeding on the man. Their minds were chaotic and I knew they must be newborns. The blood lust had kept them from hearing our approach, but as we got nearer the reared up into an aggressive pose.

"We don't want your kill," I said, "but we do want to talk to you."

The bigger one sneered at me. "We don't want to talk. But if you keep coming closer, we will most happily kill."

Alright fine. Emmett and I really did not feel like having to deal with another newborn war and if they wouldn't talk we wouldn't try to force the issue.

It was a fast fight. The newborns were of course strong, but had no fighting skills at all. After ripping them apart, we threw the pieces into a near by dumpster and set it on fire. Suddenly I realized something. There was still a mind in my head, but it keep warping in and out like a radio station that wasn't coming in right. I searched for the location of the mind and found it hiding behind the trash cans. How the heck did I forget about him? One look at him set me off on a long stream of expletives in several languages.

"Dude, you sound like me! What the hell has you swearing like that?", asked Emmet.

Coming behind me, Emmett saw my reasons for cursing. "Shit!", he exclaimed.

The victim was turning.


	2. What Life?

**A/N **My loving husband wanted me to make note that even though he hates Twilight with a passion of a thousand suns, he is being supportive of my writing and even helped with some of the plot. Thanks honey.

**I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. Fredrick, though, is my creation. **

**CPOV**

After receiving a hurried phone call from Edward saying he and Emmett were bringing home a "visitor", the family began trying to get things ready. Esme and Bella were setting up a room in which the change could take place with the least amount of damage to any of Esme's precious antiques. A disgruntled Jacob was warning the Pack down in La Push that there would be a new vampire in the area, at least for a little while, and also making sure they knew that it was not our fault. Alice and Nessie were getting ready a room for their new brother/uncle. Alice was positive that things would go well, although she was not able to really read this man's future right now because he was in the no-man's land of the change, not really human, but not yet vampire.

"Carlisle, they're here," called out Esme.

In walked Edward and Emmett with a twitching body between the two of them. The man looked to be about thirty, of average height, medium build, and brown hair. Other than that, I could not really tell much about the man since his face was twisted in agony. After taking the man into the "change" room, I began to question Edward about what he knew about the man.

Edward began with a sigh. "Well, we know from his driver's license that his name is Fredrick Stanton. He has a new change of address card in his wallet, so it looks like he just moved to Washington from Delaware. He has a wife and two kids. That I know from his mind and also emergency contact card and photos. Long and the short of it, we have a family man who is now definitely not going to be going home. "

Edward looked at Bella like his heart was breaking. I knew he was thinking the same as myself, "What if it was me who could never see my wife again?".

"Alright," I said, "we need to watch over him while the change finishes and then we will see what we can do to help the poor man get accustomed to his new life."

**FPOV**

PAIN! Fire everywhere. Lord please make it stop, please! Voices. No no no please, don't come any closer. Burning.

"...family man who is now definitely not going to be going home. " What! No no, must go home! Pain so much pain.

"...poor man get accustomed to his new life." What life?!


	3. Wallet

**I do not own Twilight or it's characters. Fredrick on the other hand is from my head. **

Three days later

**FPOV**

For what seemed like an eternity all I could feel was pain. Occasionally I would hear voices speaking, but what they were saying kept getting lost in the sea of agony that I was currently floating in. I thought I remember something about a home and new life, but I could not seem to twist my brain around those words. Right now, all I knew was that I had been in hell, and now I seemed to be out of it.

"He's awake!", chirped an overly excited voice. It was annoying and beautiful at the same time. It was like wind chimes. Then I heard several sets of feet walk in the door. I really didn't want to move, afraid that if I did the pain would return, but at the same time, I hadn't a clue where I was and preferred not to face the unknown lying down. My brain thought, "I should get up", and then without even realizing it I was on my feet, across the room. I hadn't even opened my eyes! Finally opening them, I came to the realization that I had moved fifteen feet without conscious thought or effort. My eyes then fell upon some of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. No not beautiful. Glorious, angelic, unearthly, those words fit better. The one in the front approached me.

"Hello my friend. My name is Carlisle and this is my family. You are at our home and you are safe, but we have many things to talk to you about. Your ID says your name is Fredrick, is that correct?"

That voice was very lovely too. But instead of wind chimes, it was more like cellos playing in their rich lower register. While concentrating on his voice, I forgot to listen, but realized that he had asked me a question. What was it? Oh, my name. "Fredrick...yes my name is Fredrick." Wait what! That isn't my voice. I stare down at my hands. They look like mine, but something isn't right. And my eyesight! When have I ever been able to see so well and so far? Shaking my head in confusion, I notice one of the angelic ones is talking to the others. "Dude, he's freaking out." "Shut up Emmett, you were too after you changed." "Yeah I guess, I did. I guess I just remember how well Bella took it." "Well that is a different case..."

Finally getting tired of trying and failing to put things together, I asked the one question I really cared about. "What happened to me?"

That was when the cello voice explained that I had been attacked and that I was a vampire. I tried to make sense of these words. I vaguely remembered an attack, but the memories were fuzzy. Trying to remember them felt like searching through thick fog. But then I realized cello voice was still talking.

"Now we are different vampires. We do not take human life, only animal life. We would like to show you this way of life. If you want to we can..."

That was when I interrupted, "What are you talking about, vampires, humans, animals, what is going on?"

"We are vampires. We all used to be humans, but were changed to vampires. We do not eat food, but blood. We feed on animal blood, not human blood."

At the word blood, my throat started to burn. At first I thought the pain was back and I was terrified, but then realized I was thirsty. So thirsty. I heard a snarl somewhere and realized it had come out of my voice. The angelic ones backed up some then. As though they feared me. Little me. They started talking amongst themselves and I realized they were deciding who best to take me on my first hunt. Hunt, blood, thirst, now. That was all I could think of.

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The hunt went alright. To be honest, I don't remember much of anything. For one minute I was staring at the angelic ones, and the next I was devouring deer blood. I heard tuba voice, the one they call Emmett, saying something like "A natural.", but I didn't much care what was said as long as I had my scarlet heaven.

Several days seemed to go like this. I hunted, I listened, and I tried to make sense of my new way of looking at things. Cello voice tried talking to me some more, but the oboe made him stop. I liked oboe voice. She seemed kind and reminded me of someone. Her name, I came to realize was, Esme. She was married to cello/Carlisle, and this was their house. The wind chimes voice was Alice, and she was both wonderful and obnoxious. She spent a lot of time around me trying to get me comfortable. At one point in time I yelled at her to leave, and she did with a skip and a hop and waved at my glaring face.

Eventually things seemed to make more sense, and I finally learned names, faces, and voices. It was then that Carlisle asked to speak with me.

"Fredrick, I wanted to talk to you some more. You seem to now be settling in. I know how confusing the change can be, but you seem to be doing alright. Now, we have two...special humans that normally live with us, but they have been away. They would like to come home, but we were not sure whether the one would smell appetizing to you. So we would like to try a test tomorrow, alright?"

I nodded yes, because I didn't really care. Something had been bothering me. I felt like I was forgetting something. That something important was right in front of me and I couldn't pin point it. Carlisle seemed to notice my mood. When I told him, he handed me a bag warily.

"This contains all the possessions that were on your person when my sons found you."

I pulled out of the bag a pair of ragged black pants and a blood stained blue shirt. A pair of shoes that had seen better days fell out onto the floor. A comfortable jacket with jangling keys and change were next, and then at the bottom a plain, black leather wallet.

When I picked up the wallet, Carlisle seemed to flinch, but I was too interested to pay it much mind. I opened the front to credit cards, discount cards, and a frayed library card. Apparently I liked reading, but that didn't seem to be the reason for the unease I felt. I had a few dollars in cash and some crinkled old receipts. Seemed like this wasn't helping, and with a sigh, I flipped to the back and froze.

On the back of the old black wallet was a photograph of a little girl with red curls and a younger boy with brown. They were giggling at the camera. Holding them both was the missing piece of my memory.

"Where's my wife!" I roared.


	4. Careless Decision

**I don't own Twilight or its characters. Fredrick though is mine. **

**CPOV**

With the help of Jasper's calming influence and Emmett's brawn, we were able to restrain Fredrick long enough to talk to him. I kept telling him that we did not want to hurt him and to the best of our knowledge his family was fine. His newborn aggression paired with his familial concern was a mighty force to be reckoned with. It was obvious that Fredrick was extremely attached to his wife and family. Normally this would be trait that I would be thankful for, but under the circumstances, I somewhat wished that Fredrick had had a bad marriage.

After much reasoning, I had convinced Fredrick that it would be incredibly dangerous for him to see his family that this point. I wished Nessie had been around to show him what newborns could do, but I was not bringing my granddaughter anywhere near an irate newborn who seemed to be giving even Emmett a little trouble with restraining him.

When Fredrick had cooled off a bit more, I sat down to talk to him more about how our way of life worked. He seemed to have the type of soul that did not wish to take a life, so I believed that it would be best for him to stay with us as he grew accustomed to this new life. It was then that training began. Fredrick seemed to be a wonderful new addition to the family. He got along with everyone else and even didn't have a problem with Jacob. But I could tell he had a great sadness about him. Edward and Jasper had some trouble being around Fredrick simply because his thoughts and feelings at his unguarded times would throw them for a loop, but other than that things were peaceful.

I found him work as a computer tech which he was able to do from home over the phone. He threw himself into this work as a distraction. This cycle seemed to work out for a year, but I could tell he was getting restless. That was when he came to me and said that he wanted to see his family. Of course I couldn't let him. He was not yet strong enough to be that close to his family. He argued that he wouldn't talk to them, just watch them from afar, but it was too dangerous. I thought he had accepted this fact. Then he ran.

Neither Alice nor Edward could have stopped him. It seemed it was a split second decision that occurred when they were out hunting. But one minute Fredrick was working and the next he had stolen Alice's car and taken off. We of course followed. Fredrick was not a prisoner, but we knew that he was a danger to humanity and if the worst happened, I knew Fredrick would not survive the guilt of his actions. My family was not going to let this new edition destroy himself in a moment of carelessness. We traced him to Seattle, but lost him in the crush of people. There were too many minds and Alice's visions were changing so fast she was becoming sick. All we could do was hope that he came to his senses and returned to us. And so we waited with heavy hearts.


End file.
